In the day, the brook had murmured soothingly. It had been bright and sunny, the grass had smelt sweet and the glistening of the metallic bridge made them squint. The children had been quite content playing on the grassy bank while Kiara kept an eye on them. The warmth made her drowsy but she did not give in to sleep, listening placidly to the laughing and the high pitched squeals.

Now, in the gathering dark, the flashlights made the shadows look deep and eerie. There was silence except for the scramble of the rescue team’s shoes on the loose stones and the squelch of the wet mud. The lights shone on a little red sock caught in the bushes. Kiara screamed in her mind while she fought to catch her breath.

Word Count: 131.

Posted in response to Flash Fiction for Aspiring Writers hosted by Priceless Joy.


24 thoughts on “The Brook

  1. Now this leaves me wondering what happened in between the setting of the sun and the arrival of dusk to make a rescue team come. Love the suspense and how you left it up to the reader to fill In the blanks. πŸ™‚

    Liked by 1 person

  2. I love the way your writing flows and the peaceful scene you create at the beginning. Like others above, I feel an extra clue regarding the pink sock would have been useful in helping us to envisage what had happened. But… not all stories give such detail away, so leaving as you did gives us lots of food for thought. πŸ™‚

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      1. It is very challenging. Sometimes, just a few extra words would seem fantastic. We just have to learn how to say things more succinctly and leave out unnecessary detail. This challenge does allow up to 175 words, which isn’t too bad. If you’ve tried the Friday Fictioneers, you’ll know that that one limits us to 100. Now that is a challenge! πŸ™‚

        Liked by 1 person

      2. It’s an interesting one to do, and has a huge community. I did it for a long while, as well as Monday’s Finish the Story, but I just do PJ’ now, until I finish my third book. They all take time that I can’t spare at the moment. I love doing them though! πŸ™‚

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      3. My two books so far are the first two of a Viking trilogy, set at the time of King Alfred in the mid-ninth century. It’s the third and final part I’m writing at the moment. They’re shown in the side bar of my blog. Thank you for asking! I’m a real historical fiction lover. Most of my posts are historical in one way or another.

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      4. This sounds very interesting! Historical fiction is a favourite with me too. I will check out the books. Right now, I am viewing you in the WP reader, hence I asked. Thank you!

        Liked by 1 person

  3. I love the imagery and rhythm in each sentence ! Not to mention the mystery. I think despite her best efforts, she fell asleep and a child went missing. 😦 Very sad and horrific, but still, great job with this!

    Liked by 1 person

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