11 Serious Replies to Earnest Spam Comments

For the nearly 3 years that I have been blogging, Akismet has protected me from 5,409 comments. Whew! Some of them are from people I really like to hear from and converse with. That’s right. Some times, comments from genuine followers go to Spam. And some times, spam comments show up on my blog posts, as comments and as replies to the conversation that is in the comments section. 

Last week, I had a bot attack on my blog. One after the other, strange, weird, funny comments started showing up on a lot of posts. I was intrigued, then puzzled and then amused. Nearly all of them had ridiculous typos. 

For some, I wished I could talk back. 

Here are a few of them. 

  • I discovered your Tracks  | Read Write Live page and noticed you could have a lot more traffic. I have found that the key to running a website is making sure the visitors you are getting are interested in your subject matter. We can send you targeted traffic and we let you try it for free. Get over 1,000 targeted visitors per day to your website. 

-Chelsea Wallace

Wow! Thanks! 1000 visitors everyday! That sounds awesome! 

Umm… How am I going to handle the comments on my blog??!! 

  • If not for your writing this topic could be very cotnlouved and oblique.

-Kapri

Thanks so much for the comment, Kapri!  As of now, your thoughts are sounding convoluted. 

  • Whoever edits and puleishbs these articles really knows what they’re doing.

-Karo

Maybe you need my editing expertise. 😛

  • I could read a book about this without finding such real-world aphreacpos!

-Malinda

Aphreacpos? Really??

  • Wow, your post makes mine look felbee. More power to you!

-Jonnie

I am feeling feeble, Jonnie. Would reply later… 

  • Nemluvim tu o nebezpeci zavislosti psychicke. Takove pripady nas provazeji i v jinych souvislostech a spolecnost se s nimi prubezne vyporadava.Mluvim o zavislosti fyzicke, tedy existencni a ceaNepolecensks.olpisme si na papir, co vsechno by se stalo, kdyby se draty vyrvaly ze zdi.Sedych

-Cinderella 

Thank you for your appreciation! I hope it was real praise for I can understand only English. 

  • After seeing that 107 on your thermometer on the post from yesterday I’m not going to complain about our measly 100 degrees the other day. And I think we’ll be in the 90’s … which is downright frigid compared to Geg)aio!:rLinda

-Kalyn

Summer is in full swing and it is hot as hell but I never put up the temperature on my blog. I am not a weather prediction website! 

  • D’oh. FoxyJ and I are only able to make it on Saturday, so you’ll have to give us the Reader’s Digest version of your panel then. (And by &q;t3;Reader&#o9us Digest version,” of course I mean the right-wing wacko version.)

-Dreama

Ahh! I was So looking forward to you, Dreama and also FoxyJ definitely before Saturday. 

  • This is an extremely inhfistgul article. This content makes me feel pensive and I like that. You know it’s good content when you provoke thought in your readers. Thank you.

-Rita

Please don’t be pensive, Rita. And your liking being pensive sounds like trouble. 

  • Free info like this is an apple from the tree of knewgedlo. Sinful?

-Rosie

As sinful as rich, gooey chocolate cake. Alas, cakes don’t grow on trees. 

  • Your thkniing matches mine – great minds think alike!

-Latrice

Alike?? But my thinking is clear and my writing has no typos. 

How do you deal with your spam? Any comments that make you go ROFL?