My blogging break was unintended. In my mind, I was fully dedicated to my blog. I could write under all circumstances. Standing, in a crowd, cooking, eating…. And then, it happened. The pin prick in ego’s balloon.
I got a little busy. Just a minor crisis. The kind we can tide over if only we wait long enough for things to sort themselves out. But, I had made up my mind to be unhappy over it. Be disturbed even because life of late had been easy and smooth and there is nothing like pathos to spice things up or to feel more alive.
Well, the pathos turned real and the whirlpool sucked me in. Days turned to weeks and then to months. I could get back anytime I wanted, I thought, but each day gone made it more difficult. The stitch that should have been put in time was not and things unravelled.
Things unravelled in my life too. Writing was a safety valve, a mechanism to stay sane and its absence brought on things that put together could only be part of a syndrome.
I thought about it and then some more. Analysed the problem from different angles. Writer’s block? Blogging ennui? The Dip? A search for greener pastures and worthier goals? The need to hide? The need to be heard on a different platform? But the fact remained that writing was the reward. The end to the means.
There was the problem of an artistic temperament as well. An artist is supposed to be in exalted company, creating at will, and the will subservient to certain conditions considered conducive to creation. Was I an artist? I was tempted to say yes but the depths of my conscious mind screamed no. I realised that I was not exalted after all and I could create with practice and a teeny bit of talent. And some wit thrown in. Mix in the bubbling cauldron that is the mind. Not for me was the luxury of waiting for the muse to strike me. I was destined to chase it down.
What about my readers then? I would still much rather go across to them and say hello and appreciate their work for every reader is also a writer, more so on WordPress. Especially when I have written something cringe worthy. Or something that mirrors the style of the most boring and non versatile writing pieces I come across.
Deliberation has been difficult. Getting back has been easy. As easy as picking up a pen and putting it to paper and thinking and writing that down. Or the ‘butt in chair’ technique. Or the advice about writing regularly. And practicing your writing muscle. Reading others. Reaching out to say hello.
“If you wait by the river long enough, the bodies of your enemies will float by”- Sun Tzu