3 Lazy Ways to be Happier

I like to be ‘lazy happy’, just as I like to be ‘lazy busy’. The keyword here is ‘lazy’ in both kinds of mental states. It is an attempt to be things we are meant to be, without trying too hard. 

Spiritual guru, Deepak Chopra, in his book, ‘The Seven Spiritual Laws of Success’ emphasizes on spontaneity and an effortless sense of well being. He maintains that success does not come through working hard but by relaxing into who we are and by understanding the principles that govern the entire existence. When we are in harmony with the Natural Law, abundance springs forth easily. 

Looking for Happiness can be easier than working on our behaviour, attitudes and motivations. Most self help literature suggests that to bring about a change in our circumstances, we must drive the change. And yet plenty of recent research suggests that there are ways we can manifest success and happiness in our lives without trying too hard. 

Here are three effortless ways to feel happier and to be more successful. 

1. Like Other People 

Success and Happiness are influenced largely by others, the ones we interact with on a daily basis – in our homes and at our workplaces. Happiness is a state of mind and positive interactions can accelerate the feeling of positivity and bring in trust in relationships. We don’t want to be happy alone. We want the world to celebrate with us. We want to walk in tandem with the people we care for. 

The simplest and the easiest way to improve these relationships is to like people more. Once you train yourself to consistently like and to appreciate people for what they are now, you bring in a positive bias when dealing with them. 

Also, when you assume positive intent from people, it leads to greater cooperation. It would mean that you are more open to feedback from people and every criticism would be construed positively. 

When you like people and are liked in return, it also improves your sphere of influence. 

2. Accumulate micro moments of positivity 

Turning most of your emotions into positive ones and finding pleasure in the little things ensures a greater feeling of well being than even large positive occurances. 

Why wait for a promotion or a vacation or acquiring a new house to feel good and fortunate? Seize the chance to feel good every little while by the small things. Engage in small talk or say a hello to the people you meet everyday. Take a path through the beautiful park on the way to work. Feed the birds in your lunch break. Savour a simple meal. Celebrate your kids ‘ good performance at school. Be generous. Help someone. 

Each day brings in new possibilities which you can turn into joyful encounters. These little moments of positivity accumulate and have a far reaching impact on a feeling of well being. 

3. Share the Joy 

People are the greatest influencers when it comes to life. Surround yourself with people who are happy, positive and who bring a lot of energy and commitment to whatever they do. Their attributes rub off on you. Your network and the people you spend the most time with indicates what you would become. So, get the good people and let them do the job of transforming you. 

Add wonderous joy to your life by sharing positive emotions and experiences with your friends. It is considered to be one of the best ways to foster a sense of connectedness. Watching a movie or a game together, going for a walk, sharing a meal or even sharing a bit of good news is considered to be a great mood booster. 

Savour the good moments in your life and share them with happy, exuberant people. 

And that’s it. You are happier! 

Try the lazy way to greater happiness and share your thoughts in the comments below. 

This listicle is part of Friday Listicles, a weekly feature that professes our love for anything that is presented in a numbered or bulleted form, paving the way for a happy weekend. 

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Friday Listicles: 12 Things that make me Happy!

Humming a well remembered lyric
Reading a good book
A sweet dream
The murmur of a brook
Wind through the trees
A solution to a nagging problem
A phone call from a friend, I haven’t spoken to in some time
Cooking a yummy meal from scratch
Fitting into that old outfit
A light drizzle
Re reading a long forgotten letter
Coffee with the morning paper

Read, Write, Live

Reading has been something as essential as breathing. Always. It started from comics at a young age. Comics were frowned upon in those times. They did not have the acceptance they have today; now, they are crucibles of creativity and it can be imagined that the kids reading them today would graduate to reading and perhaps writing the graphic novels so popular in this age.

Well, we were told not to read them too much. Pocket money was limited and there were only a small number that we could buy on a regular basis. But we were enterprising. We children believed in pooling our resources (a rather sought after skill these days). We read our comics and then exchanged them. When we had read all from our immediate friends, we tried getting introduced to friends of friends. Then, we transcended age groups. I remember clambering over the brick wall of my best friend to get to her neighbour’s house because she told me that he had a huge pile of comics that we had never read.

Well, my imagination was fertile. And soon I graduated to magazines for children. ‘Champak’ was my favourite. I was crazy about the ‘Amar Chitra Katha’ series. There were ‘Tinkle’ and Chandamama’. In Hindi. ‘Chacha Choudhary’, ‘Pinki’ were my friends in the comics. ‘Panchtantra’ tales fed my musings.

Then came the abridged classics. I read so many of them. My teacher in the fifth grade presented me with ‘Oliver Twist’ as a reward for a completed assignment. I am so grateful to Mrs. Virdi for introducing to the great works. I am still hooked.

Yin is balanced by Yang. Anybody who reads has to write some day. They are simply two sides of the same coin. So, my life has been governed by these two passions. This led to me choosing the title of ‘Read, Write, Live’ on my blog. As for the tagline, there is nothing as satisfying as expressing oneself be it through colours, camera, clay or words. I salute every single person who is engaged in self expression, whatever it may be.

Understanding Happiness

I read something interesting about Happiness today. That the definition of happiness changes for people as they pass through various stages of their life. In young age, people associate happiness more with exciting, extraordinary experiences whereas as they grow older, they find happiness in ordinary things.

This piece made something go ‘click’ inside me. I had always pondered on the meaning of happiness, satisfaction, contentment. Considering the fact that I had been doing this for about 20 years, my understanding and definition of happiness had also evolved.

A few years back, happiness meant achievements, accomplishments, accolades. Then, I came across a short story written by an author whose name I do not remember, because I was so struck by what she had to say. It has two women walking down a leafy lane, talking to each other of what happiness means to them. I do not remember the words , but what I do remember is that they talked of the ordinary events in their life and how it brought them happiness.

I was so moved at that time and because the idea was so different from what I believed, that I got a copy made and sent it to my then-fiance-now-husband. It was like opening my soul to him and also a hope for our life together.

The first few years of our married life were, well, happy. We loved each other’s company and loved getting to know each other. It led, slowly to disenchantment. The dynamics of the marriage changed. Oh! Why did no one tell me that it was almost to be expected. I would have worked on it then. But, I thought that what happened to the marriage was tragic. Slowly, I tried to come to terms with it.

As my children grew, my attention was diverted. I started finding pleasure in the simplicity of the daily life. Being in the present felt more important. I was more aware of how ephemeral everything was. Soon, this feeling led me to realise newer joys. A simple meal, lovingly prepared was appreciated. A toddler’s smile uplifted my heart. I was touched by the kindness of strangers. I wanted to reach out and touch the lives of those who needed me. I now wanted to make a difference. I wanted to bloom like a flower and I wanted others to be touched by my fragrance. I was kinder, more tolerant and more loving in all my relationships. I mended my marriage, needless to say.

I thought I had grown wiser, with the years. Now, I know, it wasn’t just me. It is with everyone as they age and realise that happiness lies also in simplicity, not just in grandeur.

The Mistakes I Make Daily

I make mistakes all the time. I rarely admit to making them, though. But, there are a few that I need to owe up because they undermine the quality of my life on a daily basis.

The #1 mistake I make daily is not to pursue happiness. Yes, I do need to pursue happiness actively on a continuous basis. This is the choice I have made for myself.  Many of my actions and behaviours are directed towards this goal. Yet, sometimes I feel that happiness is elusivse. To really feel happy, the approach has to be inside-out. To gain happiness, I have to create happiness through positive thinking and by fulfilling my potential. Many times, in my unguarded moments, I let negative emotions like anger, fear, resentment, guilt overshadow what could have been my good moments.

The #2 mistake I make is not building on relationships. There are people in my life who are very dear to me but these are the same people I neglect because I take them for granted. I need to invest in my relationships for a fulfilling life.

The #3 mistake is swapping the long-term goal for the short term. Sometimes, I focus solely on the day and what it brings, reacting to each and every situation and exhausted in the end.I go in for instant gratification rather than think about my goals over time. Instead I need to be more proactive towards my day, taking things calmly and using my judgement to negotiate the rough curves.