
#Flash Fiction
I sat my sunglasses atop the coffee cup. It was flimsy, the paper cup and just like it, I felt my legs shake beneath the tiny table. Outside the sun was bright and the gleam off a parked car made me screw up my eyes.
And that was when I saw him. The same shuffling gait that was now accentuated as age caught up with him. He looked around the car park slowly, as if I would be waiting for him outside, and then started towards the entrance of the cafe. I watched him through the glass frontage, as he pushed open the creaky door, his face half hidden by the jacket he wore, inspite of the heat.
Suddenly, I wanted to be away from here. Agreeing to meet him after all these years had been foolish. Perhaps, I had been taken in by his silky smooth drawl on the phone that charmed me back then, but now, did I really want to spend more time with this… tramp?
Hastily, I picked up my sunglasses from the table and the coffee cup upturned. I ignored the spill and walked rapidly towards the door and out of it before he could recognise me and call me back. The door stuck as I pushed at it and I nearly collided with the man in a blue checked shirt and faded jeans. His hair was slicked back and in my hurry I saw something familiar in his eyes. But, no time before my ex recognised me and called me back.
My high heels skittered on the tarmac and I knew the man I had run into turned around to watch me. As I fumbled with the keys in my purse, he walked inside with a puzzled look.
“I am here to meet a young lady”, he drawled in a silky smooth voice to the man behind the counter.
This Flash Fiction is part of #MyFriendAlexa. I am taking my Alexa rank to the next level with Blogchatter.
Nice one!! 😀
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Thank you for reading and commenting!
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Most welcome! 🙂
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Sona, not only did I love the premise of a meeting of exes, but also fell in love with your narration. However, correct me if I have not understood it correctly – just like the lady turned her nose at her ex, the man would have been disappointed too had he recognized the lady as his ex as he was expecting a young woman?
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You caught the story rather well Anshu. I tried to capture layers of meaning in that short piece and yes, that was the intention.
Thanks for reading and for the comment.
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I also kind of got confused at this part 😀
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I am still learning to write short stories. Hence the goof up, Manpreet.
Thanks for reading 🙂
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Well, well, well, diversifying with Alexa into flash fiction!
I felt the story left me before I could say satisf…
Interesting one, though, and good luck to you in this pursuit!
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Thanks for reading and thanks for the feedback.
Hope it did not sound very convoluted.
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Not convoluted, no, but I’d have preferred it to have been longer. That’d tell you how I feel about it.😊
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Confusing? Muddled? Or just short?
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Nice and sweet, and short!
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Alright 😊
The feedback helps me correct things.
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Good to see you attempting flash fiction. Is there going to be a continuation?
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Thanks for reading and for commenting, Sonia.
I won’t be continuing this tale; it is stand alone but yes writing flash fiction is so energising!
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Very good! I am intrigued! Great to see a post from you! Been missing your posts.
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Hey thanks!! I love that I was missed! 😊
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You are welcome! Hope all is well!
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Oh yes, all is good 😊
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Good. 🙂
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That’s an intriguing tale, Sona. Looking forward to read more.
https://www.rohankachalia.com/2018/09/payback-part-1/
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Thanks very much for reading and commenting, Rrohan! I am glad you liked it.
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An intriguing tale .. very short and sweet. Loved it.
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Thanks for reading. I am glad you liked it.
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Interesting story… Looking forward to more such delightful reads 🙂
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Thanks very much for reading. Keep visiting for more such stories.
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I already like your writing style and this was something new! interesting 🙂
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Thanks for reading, Rashi. You are very generous with your words.
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I believe, this is your first fiction piece I ever read. Is it the first time that you have tried? Because I would to read more fiction written by you, Sona. Loved it.
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Thanks for the kind words, Priya.
Yes, I have delved into flash fiction after a very long time. But I do feel that brevity in story telling is difficult to achieve. I should try it out more.
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Quite an intriguing narrative, would love to read more #Myfriendalexa #mommyinmereads
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Thanks for reading, Jhilmil. I am glad you liked this piece.
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A lovely story full of suspense and thrill. I liked its flow. Is there a next part to it?
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Thanks for reading, Deepa.
This story was meant to be stand alone, building up a little suspense and leaving it open to the reader for interpretation.
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I am intrigued to know more, bumping into the ex, that anxiety, running away from the scene this all hints to a wonderful story. Awaiting next part.
#MyFriendAlexa #gleefulreads
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I am glad you liked the story, Dipika. I am definitely encouraged to write flash fiction more often.
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Waiting for the next part. Lots of questions in my mind and I am sure they’ll be all answered soon 🙂
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Thanks Ranjini. You know, this one was meant to be a single story and not a series but I guess now I will have to write another part!
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Very nicely written, Sona! 🙂
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Thanks for reading Jayanthi! I am glad you liked it.
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A wonderful story told even wonderfully! Loved the way you have narrated it. Exes bring a kind of unknown pain no doubt it!
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You have very well captured the emotions of a person when meet path with ex. I loved the way the woman here expressed her feelings. Short, sweet and interesting.
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I am so glad you liked this short story.
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I love reading good stories and its just one of them.
its so difficult to develop character and build plot and that too in limited words and you nailed it!
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True, Iram. It is difficult to be concise and to convey a lot through a few hundred words.
I am glad you liked it.
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Bumping into an ex can either be friendly or repulsive! Awaiting the next part. Happy Alexa month.
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Thanks for reading Tina.
Happy Alexa month to you too 🙂
That’s a good greeting you have coined!
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Fiction is not easy to write but this is simply awesome…
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Fiction writing is really difficult, Ruchie. Writing a short piece also breaks me out in a sweat.
Thanks for reading.
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Very captivating! Looking for more interesting reads. #MyFriendAlexa #SurReads
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Thanks for reading Surabhi!
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Liked your writing style…leaving it to the audience how they want to build it up…great work ..Though I am not much into fiction writing but have given a few attempts and here is the latest one ..looking for a feedback http://criesnlaughter.com/love-remains-forever-after-marriage/
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Thank you so much, Anubhuti for reading and for commenting.
I’ll definitely read your story.
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very nicely written story, it looks like a rekindled love story.
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Thanks so much for reading, Richa.
It was a rekindling of sorts but the protagonist got cold feet at the last moment.
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Short and sweet
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Thank you, Huma.
I like the brevity of flash fiction.
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this was my first read on your blog, Sona and I must say I really enjoyed it. It was quite gripping. Was waiting with bated breath what end it will lead to. Great writing. Cheers. #LiveItYoungReads 🙂
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Thank you Rashi, for visiting and reading. I am happy you liked this piece of flash fiction.
I am yet to come over to your blog and read. Soon …
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Crisp and interesting! I just loved the narration. Quite well written.
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I am happy you found the flash fiction piece interesting.
I left it open ended and mysterious so that the reader could interpret it his way.
Thanks for reading and your kind words.
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Oh, does that mean he too recognized her? Was he expecting her to be young after all these years? I have so many questions. Is there any chance that you will continue this story? I really want to know what and whys? Keep writing & sharing!
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Thanks for wondering, Neha 🙂
I kept the story open ended. It is for the reader to interpret.
How do you think it should end?
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For him, she is still the young lady! Good premise Sona.
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Yes Anagha! Just the way she expected him to be still good looking and as charming as before.
Thanks for reading!
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Oh, it felt as if I was sitting there in the cafe with them and witnessing all. Fabulous writing.
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Thank you!
So glad that you liked the story 🙂
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That was short yet sweet 🙂
Love the way you wrote this one. I love people who allow me to visualize things with their poems or stories and you are one of them. Subscribing you right now 🙂 Keep Blogging!
#vigorousreads #MyFriendAlexa
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Thanks Varsha! That’s a lot of confidence in my storytelling abilities!
I am glad you liked this flash fiction so much.
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Interesting read. #MyFriendAlexa
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Thanks for reading and appreciating, Shubhra!
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Her ex and man in blue jeans are two different persons right? I didn’t get that part
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Yes Maya, they are two different persons. She has not met him for a long time and now she is judging him on the basis of appearances. So, she decides to skip the meeting.
However the handsome guy asking for her is the one who is really her ex. The irony is that he is asking for a young lady, which means that he too judges by appearances and does not realise that she may have grown older now.
Hope it all makes sense.
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Oh yes !!! Like that.. got it 🙂
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Well well, this looks so interesting for a start. Already imagined like how a movie begins!!
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Oh thanks, Lance. This story of mine should be elaborated and made into a movie.
Great idea 🙂
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Hahahah! He didn’t! It was so unexpected.
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Thanks Sejal. I was wondering if the story was too complicated to be understood.
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I could visualize the scene as I read it.. the sunglasses on the paper cup, the heels, fumbling for the keys… very well written
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Thanks! I love detailed description in a story. Sometimes I overdo it, though 😛
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Lovely narration. Whether she wanted to meet her ex or not, I just wanted to meet him. that’s the power of your narration. Great attempt and keep it flowing.
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Thanks Vasantha! That’s effusive praise from you! Made me smile 🙂
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Lovely read
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Thanks Esha!
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Interesting storytelling style.
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Thank you, Ishita. I am happy you like it.
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too short! I’d like to get into her head :p
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Yeah Ankita! This was a short flash fiction piece. Next time, I’ll remember to write longer stories.
Thanks for reading.
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I can imagine the struggle as I attempt flash fiction myself. Following your blog. Would love to read more 🙂
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Thank you, Ankita!
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Writing a fiction ain’t easy. Loved how you have written it. Especially the ending which was left open for reader’s interpretation
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I am glad you liked the story, Tamanna 🙂
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