Some Coffee? 

If we were having coffee… I would exclaim at your changed appearance. I would notice that now you wear your hair longer and your dresses shorter. Your pudgy hands would be clammy still and you would rock back and forth in your chair in intense concentration, losing yourself in the conversation we should have had so many times in these years but somehow never got around to having. 

I would smile secretly at your tinkling laughter, reminding me of the little temple bells that ring every evening all over ‘your’ town. It is a town that you refused to acknowledge, drowning in the imagined shame of being a small town girl. Yet it has been something that defined you even in your refusal and casting away of your essential identity. 

If we were having coffee… I would listen to your stories in your low throaty voice that I have always adored. I would not want to interrupt you while filling your coffee cup unobstrusively, taking care of the milk and the sugar. I would know exactly how you like your coffee for we have shared a cup many times before. 

I would remind you of the cold mornings when we huddled together, bleary eyed over our lukewarm coffee, trying to clear our minds and gear up for the recommended reading for the week. 

You would wonder however how my coffee was now much stronger than I used to like . 

If we were having coffee… You would tell me all about your family. You would tell me of the holi celebrations back at your brother’s place where you go wild playing with colour. You would tell me of your midnight snacks of bread and crunchy bhujia as you watched mindless tv. 

I would remind you of the impromptu parties we would have back when we were living in that ship shaped building, our rooms separated by a narrow corridor that was the scene of so many whispered conversations. 

If we were having coffee… I would tell you how little I have been shopping for myself these days. You would not be very surprised for I have always struggled with it. You would remind me of the all black outfit that I bought for the party. We would talk of the time we went traipising though the narrow by lanes of the old city to the impossibly compact clothed shop, hunting for something that was eye catching. You would laugh at the way I was always wearing black and ask me why I had started leaning towards pastels in my wardrobe. 

If we were having coffee… I would ask you hesitantly if you wanted something to eat. I would listen to you carefully just to gauge if it were the right time to unburden myself. 

I would apologize to you for not replying to your letter to me that you had sent right after I moved away. I would tell you of the blue inland letter envelope that I still had tucked in the pages of my book. I would tell you that I do not read that book now, do not flip through its pages incessantly and absentmindedly. I do not turn to it for comfort. Yet, I would tell you that the book is part of the memory of a great phase of my life. 

I would tell you, in little words and through contrite pauses, of the anger I had held onto for so long. I would hint at the perceived wrongs and my furious response . I would tell you that how I had never intended to reply to the letter. I would also tell you that with time our perceptions change and some introspection is all that is needed to bring purity back to our hearts. 

You would wonder at how long I had held on to the hurt. You would then hold my hand and murmur that it does not matter really, in the long run. 

If we were having coffee… You would smile kindly at me and take out the brightly coloured hand made paper folder from your bag and hand it to me. I would gf out my hand happily for this would match the papier mache boxes you had bought for me many years ago. 

You would be delighted when I tell you that they have graced my cabinet for all these years reminding me of her and the future that was yet to be. 

If we were having coffee… We would promise to meet up once in a while for coffee, a lot more frequently. 

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14 Comments

  1. Lovely, lovely post!
    When I started reading this, I was getting signals that you’d written something with this same type of heading and catchphrase earlier too, and then I got that article’s link in the suggested box at the bottom.

    I don’t know who you have written this to, but I guess it’d work for many relationships – a lover, a sister, an old friend, even one’s own subconscious. In fact, I read it for large parts as if it was written to the author’s own mind. And I guess that shows how effectively you’ve created this.
    Bravo!

    Liked by 3 people

    Reply

    1. Yes, the post works for many relationships all at once.
      And for a large part you are right about it being a talk in my own mind.
      The idea was to create an intimate tone, a fishing in the subconscious for memories and making it sound confessional.
      Thanks so much for reading so closely and understanding the premise behind it. (the punch line ;))

      Liked by 1 person

      Reply

      1. Poetry isn’t actually my forté so I have to read more carefully than usual, and you never disappoint with your posts so of course I enjoyed your conversation with your subconscious, so to say.

        I guess I’d need to create a new punchline now that you have copyrighted it as your own.😉
        Happy blogging though. 😂

        Liked by 1 person

  2. I was very sure that this was a throwback post.. And of course I still went on to read the whole post again, for it would be worth the read as many times..

    But I’m very sure this wasn’t throwback when I read that blue inland letter! I was just going wow when I read that! Wouldn’t have forgotten for sure..

    I like those tiny confessions, sharing details so easily and without the fanfare of making it a big deal, yet making it somehow intimate without the creepiness or the guilt of peeping..

    Our coffee date is still pending.. 😉 And you are bit cruel to make a cup of coffee so alluring and a dream come true.. 😉

    Am very eagerly waiting for that cup of coffee! And I think you would know how I would take my cup of coffee, even on our first coffee together.. 😉 🙂

    Did I mention that this post is awesome, once again?! 🙂

    Liked by 1 person

    Reply

    1. Thanks thanks thanks for reading it through and for your wonderful feedback!
      I am so glad you liked the coffee post. I have done a few of them in the past and that gave you the sense of deja vu.
      The post was inspired by many people, from events in the past and present and by conversations real and imagined.
      This is the virtual date we share till the time it gets real 🙂

      Liked by 1 person

      Reply

    1. Thanks so much for reading the post closely!
      I do like to write these coffee posts and they are a bit of real conversations, a bit of imaginary ones and lots of wishful thinking.
      Yes, I would definitely have coffee again with the person I addressed primarily in the post 🙂

      Like

      Reply

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