Let us Talk

If we were having coffee right now…I would talk to you of my Meditation classes and how they are making me do the opposite of meditation. I would tell you about the long months I spent feeling I had to calm my inner turbulence and trying to find time and guidance to meditate. I would talk to you about the euphoria of finally being able to attend classes that fit into my tight schedule of parenting two demanding children. I would tell you how I had the urge to break out into hysterical laughter the first time I attended the class. I would describe to you in great detail, the beautiful place, the positive people and the serene atmosphere. And then I would tell you that inexplicably, it was making me tumultuous and rebellious inside. I would tell you how I was discovering newer longings inside me rather than feeling calm and content. You would probably shake your head and ask me if I were not imagining things and I would give a wicked smile and pour you another cup.

If we were having coffee right now…I would take out the photos I have clicked recently and show you my amateur attempts at capturing things I find beautiful. I would tell you how I have always been stopped in my tracks by that bend in the road, the glimpse of a curving staircase, the angular jutting out of a porch, the play of light and shadows in the garden and thought about those things long after. I would express my surprise at this most unlikely passion for I have considered clicking photos a waste of time till most recently. I would share with you the unexpected longing I feel when I see something especially well captured. And then I would photograph your hands.

If we were having coffee right now…I would talk to you about my writing. I would ask you if you have been reading me and if the tenor of my posts have changed. I would tell you how I am writing more and more and pushing back the boundaries of what I have been wanting to say. I would ask you about the other things I am writing that nobody is reading but me till now and whether I express myself completely.

If we were having coffee right now…I would ask you what you are reading these days. I would tell you about my eclectic reading and how I feel my understanding is being expanded as I read of an unconventional spiritual approach to life. I would also tell you of the other books on my bedside table, the fast paced thriller, the wise man’s guide, the children’s books for reading aloud and for the child in me.

If we were having coffee right now…I would tell you that I am seriously considering running a marathon. Or a half. Or a quarter, going by my physical fitness and preparation. You would smile perhaps but I would tell you that yes, I really want to and now.

If we were having coffee right now…I would tell you how much I cherish you and your companionship. I would tell you that I am going to hold on to you for as long as I live. I would talk about my regret at letting other dear friends getting lost over the years. Then I would take out the book that a long lost friend had given me and tell you excitedly how I finally tracked him down. And how pleasurable talking to him was, after all these years.

If we were having coffee right now…I would talk wistfully of how I am trying to say goodbye to the place I have come to love. I would ruminate over the countless times I have moved places and conquered the feeling of loss. I would look to you for reassurance, for telling me that I would be able to adapt to this change as well as I have done in the past.

If we were having coffee right now…I would tell you how I am in love with life. I would tell you how I count my blessings and am grateful for all that I have experienced. You would say that you are grateful too, for the conversation and the coffee.

Advertisements

23 Comments

  1. Re: your first paragraph– I had the same problem when I was taking a yoga class from a very…committed…teacher.

    She got very wrapped up in the meditation and once said, after some other relaxing and inspiring mumbles, “Now I want you to get to know your inner self.” I was already on the verge of hysteria and it just slipped out (rather loud, in the relative silence): “I’ve already met my inner self, and she’s not very nice. I’m trying to reform her.” She was not amused.

    Love your blog!

    Liked by 1 person

    Reply

    1. Casey, I saw your comment as soon as it came in but I am answering after 15 minutes because I spent all this time doubled up in hysterical laughter….
      Thank you so much for telling me about your committed teacher. I feel much better. All this time I was wondering what was it I was going through πŸ˜€

      Liked by 1 person

      Reply

      1. That’s awesome. πŸ™‚ Glad to provide some giggles. Also, we had another serious teacher filling in for CT (committed teacher) who really liked switching between upward poses and DownDog. If you know anything about DD…it puts your derriere in the air. Gas rises…we had a class full of people who evidently had eaten Mexican, and things were…musical, to say the least. It probably would have been okay if we weren’t moving so much. He was less than thrilled…

        Liked by 1 person

      2. Oh my God! Why do these teachers take themselves so seriously!? Yes, I know about the yoga postures and particularly the Down Dog. There is another posture called the ‘Pawanmukta Aasana’ which is especially for improving digestion and helping the intestines release ‘gas’. That is the expectation and the outcome πŸ™‚

        Liked by 2 people

  2. Loved your list and I know what you mean about meditation etc. it sounds like you are moving home so maybe when you have moved you will feel calmer. I suspect if you focus some energy on writing and photography you could find a way to be calmer through them. I think you write well

    Liked by 1 person

    Reply

    1. Thank you so much, Helen for reading the post so closely. It was meant to be an update but you put the finger right where the trouble is brewing πŸ˜‰ yes, my impending change of residence is a cause of stress. I plan to throw myself wholeheartedly into things I love doing πŸ™‚

      Like

      Reply

  3. Such a beautifully well-written and expressive post that I feel like I have gotten to know you so well! I can relate to not being able to control my monkey mind through meditation (I still don’t know how!) but it’s definitely something that comes after lots and lots of practice. I have been contemplating joining Vipassana since many years but I don’t know if I will be able to meditate for hours on end for 10 days (it sort of excites me and freaks me out at the same time!)

    Also, I am with you on the running! I just started training last week for my first 5K and I’m super excited to be able to partake in a physical sport for the first time in my life (I have never been sporty) πŸ™‚

    By the way, I have nominated you for the for the Versatile Blogger Award. You can check out the post here – https://thistlesandwhistles.wordpress.com/2015/09/20/versatile-blogger-award/. P.S. Please feel free to skip it if you’ve done it already! πŸ˜€

    Always enjoy interacting with you and am happy to be your virtual friend! πŸ™‚

    Cheers,
    Tx

    Like

    Reply

    1. Thank you for a beautiful, from-the-heart response! I am so happy that I am able to communicate some of my feelings and aspirations.
      I am glad to know that you are into meditation as well. I am frustrated but not planning to give up. Meditating for ‘hours on end, for 10 days’ definitely sounds….adventurous πŸ™‚
      I too am not sporty. I only admire others ‘being’ sporty and live vicariously through their achievements. Good luck to you!
      Thank you so much for the Versatile Blogger Award. I feel honoured!
      I am fortunate to have found you!!

      Like

      Reply

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out / Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out / Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out / Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out / Change )

Connecting to %s