If we were having coffee right now…I would talk to you of my Meditation classes and how they are making me do the opposite of meditation. I would tell you about the long months I spent feeling I had to calm my inner turbulence and trying to find time and guidance to meditate. I would talk to you about the euphoria of finally being able to attend classes that fit into my tight schedule of parenting two demanding children. I would tell you how I had the urge to break out into hysterical laughter the first time I attended the class. I would describe to you in great detail, the beautiful place, the positive people and the serene atmosphere. And then I would tell you that inexplicably, it was making me tumultuous and rebellious inside. I would tell you how I was discovering newer longings inside me rather than feeling calm and content. You would probably shake your head and ask me if I were not imagining things and I would give a wicked smile and pour you another cup.
If we were having coffee right now…I would take out the photos I have clicked recently and show you my amateur attempts at capturing things I find beautiful. I would tell you how I have always been stopped in my tracks by that bend in the road, the glimpse of a curving staircase, the angular jutting out of a porch, the play of light and shadows in the garden and thought about those things long after. I would express my surprise at this most unlikely passion for I have considered clicking photos a waste of time till most recently. I would share with you the unexpected longing I feel when I see something especially well captured. And then I would photograph your hands.
If we were having coffee right now…I would talk to you about my writing. I would ask you if you have been reading me and if the tenor of my posts have changed. I would tell you how I am writing more and more and pushing back the boundaries of what I have been wanting to say. I would ask you about the other things I am writing that nobody is reading but me till now and whether I express myself completely.
If we were having coffee right now…I would ask you what you are reading these days. I would tell you about my eclectic reading and how I feel my understanding is being expanded as I read of an unconventional spiritual approach to life. I would also tell you of the other books on my bedside table, the fast paced thriller, the wise man’s guide, the children’s books for reading aloud and for the child in me.
If we were having coffee right now…I would tell you that I am seriously considering running a marathon. Or a half. Or a quarter, going by my physical fitness and preparation. You would smile perhaps but I would tell you that yes, I really want to and now.
If we were having coffee right now…I would tell you how much I cherish you and your companionship. I would tell you that I am going to hold on to you for as long as I live. I would talk about my regret at letting other dear friends getting lost over the years. Then I would take out the book that a long lost friend had given me and tell you excitedly how I finally tracked him down. And how pleasurable talking to him was, after all these years.
If we were having coffee right now…I would talk wistfully of how I am trying to say goodbye to the place I have come to love. I would ruminate over the countless times I have moved places and conquered the feeling of loss. I would look to you for reassurance, for telling me that I would be able to adapt to this change as well as I have done in the past.
If we were having coffee right now…I would tell you how I am in love with life. I would tell you how I count my blessings and am grateful for all that I have experienced. You would say that you are grateful too, for the conversation and the coffee.